#21 Austin is Wonderful, but Missing My Family

Has it been 3 months since I blogged?  Apparently having a job that requires a lot of effort curtails your ability to write, as does playing a new video game: Skyrim.

So Austin is wonderful.  My job at Dell is challenging and the people are fantastic.  I moved right across the street so I was walking to work until the sub 30s temperatures started.

There are a lot of meetup events I have joined since moving here and I have had a bit more alchohol than I had the previous 40 years combined, probably thanks to 6th street and my brother, but I am still pretty much a non-drinker.

I have a new boss at my job who I really like and I think I get quite a bit of respect from him as well as my teammates which is a nice change.  Then again I am definately attempting to do a good job here as one of the new guys on the block.

Deb and Michael still live in Dallas and the house should be going up for sale around the end of December.  That took quite a bit more time than expected, but Deb is really putting some time in to get it done.  I miss my family so much and I miss Michael a lot more than I expected.  They will be visiting tomorrow for the weekend and I cannot wait to spend some good family time together.

That is all I have for this update, so until next time, happy holidays.

#20 Last Day in Dallas

My last full day in Dallas has begun. I leave for Austin in the morning. Saying goodbye to 15 years of friends and coworkers. Saying goodbye to our big house and my wife and son at least temporarily. Saying goodbye to everything but memories.

#19 A New Goal - Losing Expectations

I am moving to Austin and I want to start a new way of living.  I want to try to let go of expectations outside of those for my self.  I want to relax and enjoy the life I have instead of wishing for the life I don't.  This is a VERY difficult concept for me.  So I am linking a poem that demonstrates this goal.

http://www.kuryosity.net/poetry/losingexpectations.html

#18 Getting Ready for Austin

So I have 16 days to prepare for the initial move.  That is I am picking up my brother on the 14th and moving stuff to the Austin apartment on the 15th.  I have got a lot on my mind.

I have bought a new bed, nightstands, mattress, dining set, 2 piece sectional sofa, and end tables.  It seems I am also going to buy a new full bed for Michael and Jarrod will use it for now.

I need to determine what to do with the TV situation.  I have to move my Direct Tv to Austin or pay a shitload to cancel.   But I want to leave my family the current tv and then put it in the bedroom when Deb moves.

I have been looking at TVs, but I get BIGitis and then everything costs 2k+.

Jarrod is flying down on the 14th and bringing clothes essentially.  So we need to be prepared to get our move on.

#17 An Exciting Day - Heading to Austin

Just got my offer from Dell.  I am on the move September 15, 2011.  Jarrod is going to come down and start a new life as well.  Wish us luck.  We may need it.

#16 Things to change or add to fitness and diet

I read it in a magazine then confirmed a lot of it here:

http://www.muscleandbodymag.com/article.php?ArticleID=249

Apparently I should have 500-1000mg of garlic with my pre-workout shake.  Apparently Garlic makes the arginine produced nitric oxide last longer and has a lot of other benefits as well.

I had been eating cocoa after my workouts,  70%+ cocoa to be exact.  Apparently I should change this and put it in my morning chocolate whey shake.

I get my NO from supplements, but I like the idea of a couple of watermelon slices an hour before my workout as well.  I barely get up an hour before my workout, so I need to be on the ball.

I pretty much get all of these foods.  I need to be more consistent with my yogurt and berry intake however.  I need to read constantly to remind me of what I am supposed to be doing.

#15 Been a While

So how has life changed in the 4 months since I last blogged?  Well Deb and I keep getting a little bit thinner and a little bit stronger.  Deb had a great birthday party and her friend Carlisa found a new beau there.  Kelsey has since moved into our home and started going to Le Cordon Bleu.  Her boyfriend Chandler, who is a really nice guy, also moved in.  I interviewed at Dell in Austin and expect to be employed there by February, if not by year's end.

I have more to say, but just wanted to get a short blog out to show I am alive.

Off the Wagon

So I hurt my back pretty bad about 3 weeks ago and have not done much gym work since then.  I learned something.  it is much MUCH easier to go to and get excited about the gym when you are on a regimen than when you are off of one.

It is a lot harder to get back into the groove than I thought it would be.  After learning so much about health and exercise and the value it brought to my life I figured getting back to work at the gym would be easy, but it seems like it requires more effort than I expected.

Apparently, getting into the workout groove is 90% of the work.  Staying in is much easier!

I really enjoyed my first weight workout in 3 weeks this morning, but I doubt I will go tonight.  I need to start two-a-days before I feel I am really back and maybe a 3-a-day now and then.

#13 Eating less to get bigger

Ok, that's not the whole picture.  I am trying to get to under 20% body fat by September so that I can start body building.  Meaning eating more calories than my body needs to gain weight, hopefully 2 pounds of muscle for each pound of fat.  And then in December I start the burn process to try to lose 2 lbs of fat to each pound of muscle.  For hopefully a net gain of 7-10 pounds of muscle.

I want to do this at least once in my life to see what it does for me.  I am hoping to be Men's Health cover ready by next June....

I got the magazine issue today of MASS that has all the things i need to change from fat loss to muscle gain after I reach my % body fat goal.

Hopefully I will get way below 20% body fat by September, but we will see....

I am 40 after all.

#12 Drill baby drill...Stop the Stupidity

Oil is a globally traded commodity.  Meaning all of the production and demand globally determine the price point of a barrel of sweet crude.  If the US produced 1% more oil in 5-6 years, which they could, it COULD influence gas prices by 1%.

Except then OPEC would produce 1% less oil in order to maintain prices as is.  Domestic drilling to save money is a lie.  You CANNOT lower gas prices by drilling anywhere.  The only thing you can do is affect global supply and that is only if OPEC and other oil conglomerates allow you to change supply, which they would not.

GET OVER drill baby drill.  Oil prices and gas prices have NOTHING to do with where oil is obtained or produced.  It is ALWAYS sold on the global market even if it comes right out of your back yard, it is instantly NOT AMERICAN if you choose to sell it, which is all anyone does with it.

That being said drilling more would produce a few thousand more jobs while barely destroying too much of our environment, given that you believe destruction of the environment is ok so that billionaires can make more billions with no gain for any of us.

#11 Time to shock the body

Debbie and I are about to start a body shocking process, which contemporarily is referred to as the Dukan diet. But it is just a protein shock.  The purpose is to shut off your muscles access to carbs for energy and force them to burn fat by consuming nothing but protein to restore muscle.

This last 5-7 days, until phase 2 introduces vegetables.  And that phase lasts another week to introduce cheese, fruits, and starch back into the diet.

Finally you go back to your regular diet if you are where we are already or for others you go to a GOOD diet.

We will start Saturday or Monday; not sure yet.

#10 Why get a tattoo?

Each person will have to give their own answer for this, but for me...

1) I want to experience life and this is an aspect that many people enjoy but was foreign to me.
2) There are parts of me I want people to see without having to know me.  I want to wear my heart and soul on my sleeve.
3) I wanted to share the experience with my wife in honor of our anniversary.
4) To be able to say I had done it.

So you may ask...What do I think on the day after?

I want more.  I love it.  I want to write every important event of my life and personality on my body.  They say it is addicting and they are right.  I think it is beautiful and I want to do more.

So what else do I want?

I want a dragon holding a 20-sided die representing my LONG tryst with dungeons & Dragons, fantasy, and role-playing on my other arm.

I want the phrase, "We are a sad majesty," somewhere on my body.  It is my favorite line for one of Anne Rice's vampire novels.

Who knows if I will ever actually do it, but at least I have come this far.  Hooray!

#9 Osama Bin Laden Dead - Mission Accomplished

Yes the title was cynical and sarcastic.  The cynicism being represented by a dead guy we do not possess and cannot prove actually died.  Christians should have an easier time believing this actually occurred since they believe someone died for them on a regular basis with no proof.

The sarcasm is of course the well-remembered "Mission Accomplished" sign posted by G.W. Bush.  The news is already telling us we got the guy who "Masterminded the 9/11 attacks."  Which of course we also have ABSOLUTELY no proof of, though Osama did take credit a couple of hours after he heard about them.

History has been pre-written by our government and our media.  Even if the guy is actually dead.  Is terrorism over?  Bush left and we still have a capitalist warmonger in Obama.  Faces change.  Little else does.

P.S.  How much more/less believable would this have been in October before the election?

#8 Listening to the smartest people in the world

Ted Conferences

No, I do not believe I am one of those people.  Not even close.  But I really do enjoy listening to their speeches and people pay a LOT of money to go to these conferences.

You can also just search for TED or TED conference on youtube.com and find many videos.  I love that these people are giving their time and effort to change the world.

This isn't a big blog, but I am hoping someone finds this useful and passes it on.

"I never let school interfere with my education" - Mark Twain

Problems
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U

Answers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM95HHI4gLk

The links above posit a number of challenges to the modern education system and what I believe to be the greatest fundamental opportunity to resolve those challenges in our lifetime.  If you have kids you will likely get a great deal out of watching the second video.  If you, like myself, enjoy philosophical discussions of models and systems, the first video is magnificent, in its ability to quickly and succinctly define the challenges of the modern education system in a new technological era.

I believe the man in the second video will be one of the most famous and prominent men in the formation of the future of the world.  As silly as that may seem for now, Bill Gates believes this as well, and has put his money behind the Khan Academy project to prove just that.

By the way I am currently taking the Chemistry program.  Why?  Because I took honors chemistry in high school and did not apply myself then.  I though I might make up for that now.

#7 I Have Joined the Electronic Book Era

So I walked up to the guy working at Barnes & Nobles.  I said, "I am conflicted.  I can buy everything in this store for nearly half price online, but I like being able to come to this store and sit, relax, and read.  What should I do?"

Well, his lame answer prompted me to buy my first ibook, "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter."  From the writer of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies".

The book was $15 in B&N and $10 (still too much for a book) on my iPad.  And I can't even give it to friends or sell it to half price books when I am done.  Though Deb will enjoy it I am sure.

Borders already bit the dust and now B&N will be next if we don't spend too much money to shop there.

What to do?!

#6 Prayer and Meditation

So the book on meditation I have been reading simplified the difference between prayer and meditation as follows:

Prayer is related to the heart and meditation is related to the mind. 

At first this seems quite reasonable.  But perhaps a bit too simplified.  I would offer that prayer is often offered up to some deity or god so that it is a conscious decision and effort whether its source is mental or emotional.  The sharing of prayers for many purposes is deemed both correct and beneficial.

True meditation is quite the opposite.  It is the purging of mental or emotional distraction to find inner resolution or enlightenment.  And though we can share acts of meditation, the purposeful result is always internal.

It is here I will be focusing my spiritual energies; internal balance and harmony.  Though that does not preclude the attendance of religious services and the shared and quite heartfelt messages and community that is brought together by them.

I want to experience things that bring about positive social, spiritual, interrelationship, physical, and mental change.  Why limit yourself to prayer or meditation or inner or external development when there is benefit to be found in all of these things?

Jesus Christ will almost assuredly NOT become my lord and savior.  But I truly appreciate the positive values his teachings and others' belief in Christianity can bring.  And my wife certainly appreciates the opportunity to experience these things as well.

Religion is a limitation on growth.  It is an acceptance of a particular dogma or set of rules to govern existence and the metaphysical.  Sharing in the tenets and values of multiple systems as well as just educating yourself on them seems to be the most "enlightening".

#5 If you win the rat race, You're still a rat

The title is the best line I read this morning from, The Everything Guide to Meditation for Healthy Living.  So why on Earth am I reading about meditation.  Have I gone off the deep end?

Nah, once again, just trying to use tools to help put body, mind, and spirit into balance.

I barely got into the HOW to meditate before I had to go to work, but I learned a lot about WHY, and WHO, and what not.

Does it make sense to find some quiet time to find this natural meditative state?  I think it does.  I canno wait to learn more.

Damn, I love reading.

I will share more when I learn more.  Feel free to send me a comfortable pillow or a big candle. ;)

#4 A prayer for those lost to stormy weather

There is much to say when you start a new blog, but this blog entry will instead discuss the terrible storms hitting the country over the past two weeks an particularly in the past 24 hours.

Lives have been lost.  Homes and families have been shattered.  Prayer doesn't have to ask for something.  It doesn't need to to be to someone.  It can just be a moment of reflection for those in need and for all of us that need to ask that those affected can endure the pain and damage inflicted.

So this blog asks that if you are one of those people, you may find time to pray for the lives affected by these terrible storms and that we can all stay safe.

I for one intend to not be around if at ALL possible when storms like this arrive.  I will be getting my family in the car, given ANY forewarning, and driving far from any powerful storm striking near my home.  I will sleep at a rest stop or at a distant hotel, but I fully intend to keep my family COMPLETELY away from any affected area.

It sounds like a good time to pay a GREAT deal of attention to incoming storms and weather patterns.  IF I had a basement or a safe place to stay I would go, but in Texas we pretty much have no safe place to go, and it looks like we are not alone.

So this is a prayer for those already affected and for all of us to be attentive to these situations and stay safe in this worst storm season in our lifetime.

P.S. If you see something bad coming, please let your friends and family know as soon as possible.

#3 The Weeds of Death, Wounds, and Sin

So I went to a Christian church on Easter.  I am pretty sure this is the 3rd such religious service I have attended in 20 years.  And I have always been very proud of that record.

Did something change?

Society has views I do not necessarily share.  I do not want to handicap my son my preventing him his own opportunity to determine whether he wants to share those views.

Was it worth it?

Honestly, it was fantastic.  Now I do not want to get anyone's (Sandy) hopes up.

I am not looking to be a Christian.  I am looking for spiritual identity.  I am not happy with evangelists, telling me I must believe as they believe, I am not happy with establishmentarians telling government to implement religious morality into law, and I am not happy with newfound modern interpretations of ancient scriptures.  These things weight HEAVILY against Christianity.

That being said, I heard a couple of things that struck me during this service.  I found them both compelling and a tongue in cheek bit of marketing for the church.  The preacher said that we look for salvation because our lives become overcome with weeds.  Weeds of death, weeds of wounds, and weeds of sin.  And I agree completely that this is why people find religion.

Not unlike Obama said.  People cling to religion and guns in times of hardship.  Because religion offers a path, a way to rise above our loss and say that we are in "God's" hands.  That concept disgusts me.  For me, it instantly removes self responsibility and purposeful choices from our lives.

I have thusly always opposed religion and I have yet to overcome that distrust.  However, I am open to spiritual growth if not dogmatic faith.  I am reading a new book. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.  I will discuss it at some length in a later post.  But for now let us say the doors are no longer completely closed to allowing myself to be a spiritual being.

It is a small step in the right direction I believe.  And yes, the Easter sermon did move me to tears multiple times.  The joy that those people have in their shared belief in Jesus Christ is uplifting and admirable.

#2 Tell me about the physical changes first Scott

Scott, I would be happy to.

I was dying.  There is no better way to put it.  Sleep apnea was killing me.  I would wake up 3-5 times a night "consciously" with a very bad headache from not breathing.

I was around 300 pounds and I was killing myself every night.

Willpower, I have.  Motivation I lacked.  Imminent death seemed like as good of a motivation as any.

Ok, so you have lost nearly 50 pounds, you can't even remember the last time you woke up with a headache?  Why are you still pushing to be more?

Why not.  I can do it.  When was the last time I actually proved to myself I could be more than I am.  It's time.  Being 40 seems like a good threshold to cross into a healthier place to me.

Ok, but you read about this stuff for 4-10 hours a week, exercise, nutrition, meditation, attitude changes, etc.  not to mention hours at the gym, in the park, and in the kitchen.  Why so much effort?

Why not?  You got something better to do?  Are you not already reaping the rewards?

Be honest you just want to be a hot hunky dude desired by women and awesome to other guys.

DAMN skippy.  My wife has always been beautiful and grows moreso everyday she does this with me.  Me?  I want to be badass.  I want to wow others.  For no other good damn reason than my ego would REALLY like the praise.

So your wife is doing this too?  Is that helping?

I couldn't do this without her.  I wouldn't want to.  We are greater than the sum of our parts.  She makes me MORE than whole.

Wow, Scott.  You are such a kissass.


Maybe, but I really believe in the power of 'Us'.  And I truly believe Michael will make 'Us' even stronger.

Well, that's a good blog for today.  Odd writing style you have there Mr. Schindler.   Maybe you can talk about your spiritual changes tomorrow?  

It is pretty new to me, but I would love to....see you then.

#1 So let the blogging begin... again....

First of all...this is for me.  From me > To me.  Thank you Scott.  No, thank you.

I am grateful for family and friends reading these postings, if indeed anyone actually does, but it really is a place for me to whisper, scream, and philosophize about all that I experience in my life.  It is here to remind me where I have been and where I am going.  Because I have someone I need to be and I am constantly adapting exactly who that person will eventually become.

So why a blog?  Honestly, I don't know.  Where else to rant incessantly and make it available to others to share?  Facebook's 140 characters seems like it would be a limitation to what I am trying to accomplish.  Twitter...does anyone on twitter actually KNOW me?

So what is it about?  Well, that's in the description below, but to paraphrase, it is about growth: physical, mental, spiritual, social, and interpersonal growth.

Why?  I guess because getting fat and then working my way back toward thin (and sexy) has made me realize that there MIGHT be a few other things I could improve in my life.  Ok, to be honest, sex is getting way better and that made me realize there was value not initially obvious from these new physical changes.  So I naturally wondered, what else can I change. (to make sex better)

And then I realized I could make other stuff better too...

Ready to read more?  I have a lot to share and a WHOLE LOT to learn.  But let's keep these blogs short, because my attention span is short and thus I will keep these short so I can digest them again someday.

P.S.  Life isn't easy.  Being an adult is more responsibility than I afforded it.  Being a parent is way more of a responsibility than I could have imagined.  But the attitude I bring to these things is mine to choose.  I have always believed I could be anything I wanted to be. I simply never chose to be anything but a survivor.  That time is over.